A Transformative Event, Part 2

July 23, 2009

Part II, The Aftermath

One the earliest and most unnerving changes I experienced was a massive increase in empathy for other people.  It was extremely uncomfortable, because it seemed as if I had lost the interpersonal barriers between me and other people.  All the tension, frustration, joy, and exhaustion of other people were now mine too, and I couldn’t shield it out.  Group dynamics affected me directly, and people grew more and more uncomfortable for me to be around.  I had to stop listening to news radio, because I could no longer separate myself from the anxiety of the times.

Every Sunday, I go to Open Studio at the local Art Center.  There, I draw models and work on my art skills.  I almost had to quit, and came very close to doing so, because I suddenly started drawing in the style of whatever artist I sat next to, and this without actually looking at the artist’s work.  When people with mental illness sat near me, as happened all too often, my work would become abstract, troubled, and “off.”  I usually had to excuse myself and leave early.

This empathy-run-amok also made me aware of energy present in different environments, and different flows of energy in the land, buildings, and the like.  Sometimes places would make me light-headed, sometimes I would avoid locations for this reason alone.  Too much energy in the air, such as an entity might generate, or an oncoming thunderstorm, would make me feel as if I thrown my brain in the rinse cycle.

I’m part Scottish, and part Irish, with a pinch of German thrown in, so the Second Sight is nothing new to me, really.  Still, I had to get a handle on what was happening to me, so I took up meditation with real determination.  I discovered that I was actually pretty good at it, and that I could reinforce my personal shields and regulate my own energy to a degree.  Nowadays I don’t practice meditation as often as I should, but at the time it really helped me wall myself off from unwanted psychic bleed-over and intrusion.

The strange psychic effects of my transformative experience didn’t end at empathy.  On two separate occasions I experienced unwanted out-of-body experiences.  The first time, for example, my wife and I were in a Super Target in Noblesville, Indiana, and I tried to look over a shelf of goods and see beyond.  In a moment of disorientation, my vantage point rose several feet above my head, and I could easily see what lied beyond that shelf and well beyond.  This scared me, to be honest.

I’ve never been someone who can see auras, and I didn’t get that ability, per se’, but something similar did happen.  I started to see people in an alternate, sort of symbolic way.  One friend appeared to me as a cloud of unruly bees, wildly buzzing all over, the cloud of bees supporting his clothes as he threatened to disperse.  Another person I know with deep-seated psychological problems I saw as sort of a layer-cake human, but with all the layers un-aligned, and some big parts missing.  Another person I perceived as an ‘alien’ or non-human of some sort, someone who walks among us disguised as a person.  I’m not claiming that this person is not physically human, yet I’ve also come to trust my perceptions in most of these matters.

In the early days of this transformation, I experienced several instances of random telepathy while at restaurants or in crowds.  These often came through as voices, sounding like the people they originated from, but heard only by me.  I never bothered anyone to confirm what I heard, and I was happy when this effect faded away.  Maybe my strengthened psychic shields filtered these out.

During this time, my freelance art career took a sharp swing upwards, and I made more money and did more projects in that time than I have ever done during a comparable period.  I also developed a spontaneous interest in the paranormal.  I had always been interested in magic, but I had not believed in UFOs, and I had little patience for what I considered New Age thought.  Yet, within a few weeks’ time, I was listening to the Paracast, the Paranormal Café, and about six other paranormal based blogcasts.  My reading came to consist solely of paranormal subjects, and I attacked my knowledge deficit with passion, moving up the steep side of the paranormal knowledge bell curve rapidly.

Now, almost a year after this transformational event, my life has returned to more or less normal.  I’m fine with that.



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